2015 is cute and all, but these reservations are for life.
Know your worth.
As strong and independent and badass as we all truly are, there are times when we as ladies question it. There are certain events/people/situations that make us forget our Sasha Fierce-ness and we quickly crumble into a hole. We didn’t do anything differently, there are just times it’s easier to accept what is given to us even though we know we deserve more. Who the fuck knows why we do it, but we do. And it’s not a “we’re weak ladies and they’re all mighty men” because honestly, I think we all know girls intimidate girls way more than any man ever could. Well, it’s 2015 and we need to knock it off. You’re smart and you know it. You’re funny and you know it. You have ideas and you know they’re great. So now when you feel like bowing down and silencing yourself, don’t. Take the seat you deserve at the table. Make the case for the salary you know you deserve. Don’t let that asshole talk to you like that. Okay, girlfriend? I know you have this.
Read. No, but really.
The next time you want to turn on, in the words of my father, “the show about Bruce Jenner and those Kavorkians who talk about nothing on couches,” pick up a book instead. I personally know what a struggle this is, but I also know how rewarding it is.
Pour out the expired milk.
We all have a little bit of a hoarder in us. That three-year-old discontinued lipstick you’re keeping until the very last smudge. The old body scrub container you’ve been holding onto for a year because it’s pretty and glass and you feel weird throwing it away. That 2008 Tori Burch size two tunic you swear you’ll wear again after a healthy bout with mono. I get it. Sometimes inanimate objects represent things bigger than they appear. The same can be said about people. For instance, sometimes you aren’t the best of friends with a person anymore, but you used to be so you keep somewhat in touch because at some point in what now feels like a past life, you used to have fun together. Most of the time that bond is something that bonds you for life no matter how many miles of interstate between you. You can go without talking for months, but the minute you see each other it’s like you’re both back in your cheerleading uniforms junior year drinking Smirnoff ices and eating buffalo wings in the back of your boyfriend’s Jeep. But sometimes people change, and you aren’t just miles apart, but lives. And when you reach the point where you realize that person no longer understands anything about you as who you are now (or sometimes you realize they never really did), then by all means trim the fat. Let it go. Don’t just hang on for nostalgia’s sake. Move on and don’t look back. It’s okay to remove someone from your life if they don’t belong it anymore. You are too fabulous and have too many people who do understand you and adore you for you to worry about holding onto a relationship with someone just because you’ve known her forever. And I can promise you this: it may hurt a lot in the beginning to end any sort of relationship. But don’t worry my love, better people are already on their way.
Stop thinking “I could never pull that off.”
Have you ever seen someone wearing something you would normally think is completely ridiculous but somehow they look incredible? Exhibit A: photos from Coachella. I guarantee you that yeah, what they are wearing probably actually is ridiculous, but somehow they make that headdress/bag the size of carry-on luggage/pair of Tevas work. The only magic ingredient they seem to have is that they truly, genuinely not just think, but know they can completely pull the look off. It’s good old-fashioned confidence, honey. If you tell yourself enough that you look like Blue Ivy Carter in that tulle skirt and cowboy boots, eventually you’ll actually believe it and eventually yes, you will somehow look incredible. The only thing this never applies to is gaucho pants. Getchen, stop trying to make gaucho pants happen! They aren’t going to happen!
Go see everything.
I’ve unofficially, unscientifically have noticed that the more sheltered the person, the more ignorant. No one wants to be in this category, no matter how ignorant they may be (I think ignorant people are secretly people jealous of smart people and are in denial about it). So starting now, step outside your comfort zone if that’s what it takes. Stop dreaming about places you’ll see “one day” and actually make moves to go see them. Stop pinteresting the shit out of your ~wanderlust~ board and just ending there. Take the next step and book that trip girl! One of the pluses of the worldwide interwebs is that travel is more attainable than ever, no matter your budget. Make 2015 the year you see The Great Wall. Make 2016 the year you ski for the first time. Stop pinning and start planning. Go see everything while you’re young and healthy. Because remember, no Instagram filters can make liver spots look ~hip~.
Find someone you admire for more than just her outfits.
You have four seconds to answer this question: what female in the world do you want to be like when you’re older? If you can’t think of someone whose life work you genuinely admire, then girl, you better get on it. It’s fine if you want to only follow the Bravo Lohan Real Housewives of Kardashians of the world on social media, but when it comes real life role models, maybe lean towards a little more Hillary and a little less Snookie. You’re smarter than that and you owe it to yourself.
Find a way to Namaste.
Us ladies have a lot of pressure. Some of that comes from our parents, some comes from bosses, but a lot of it comes from ourselves. If you have any sort of internal discontentment, figure out why you have it and figure out how you’re going to resolve it. Because I’ve decided being in a constant state of never feeling truly fulfilled with your life is just plain unhealthy. It creates chronic anxiety, now matter how small the feeling is. Even if it takes sitting down and realizing it’s going to take a five-year plan for you to reach a state where you genuinely feel whole and satisfied with your life, at least you know what you need to do to reach a place where you’re truly content. And that little step can make all the difference.
Put your fucking phone down and actually be somewhere.